Pregnancy complications

O'bee and I were riding the wave of conceiving at the most opportune time and in such a magical way, that when complications showed up, we were stunned. I mean, I got pregnant, had no morning sickness, and didn't have a miscarriage in the first trimester- so all was right in the world, right?

When we went for our 19 week ultrasound, we got the news. Placenta previa- complete. This was a serious complication that could mean bleeding/hemorrhage in my second or third trimesters (which would mean complete bed rest- something our new family could not afford) and worse, another C section. (I gave up a child for adoption when I was 19- the doctors gave me an unnecessary induction and C section to make my baby delivered in their time frame, to accommodate a vacation.) When I talked to my midwife about this, she said it was likely the first C section was the cause of my previa. It is a fairly common side effect of having scar tissue in your uterus from major abdominal surgery.

The idea of not being able to give birth normally and having to go through the pain of recovery of a C section again triggered me- HARD. This was not the way this was supposed to happen! I was just getting used to the idea of having a boy, even though a girl child visited me in dream- and now this? It made me question my sanity and my ability to magically discern anything.

We talked to the midwife, who did not want to give us false hope. Over 80% of complete previas end up with a C section. And since my placenta was placing itself in the anterior of my uterus, it would likely implant into my scar tissue (another 100% C section possibility) if it did move off the cervix anyway. But of course, I was free to try any alternative therapies or efforts to get it to move, and we would do another ultrasound later. There were a few things I had read about on my Mothering Board that have helped people: acupuncture, moxibustion, herb therapies, yoga poses. O'bee immediately contacted a network of initiates in our religious tradition and asked for magical help. According to him, 100 people or so responded and volunteered prayer and magical work. We even got a magical package in the mail from a women I have never met. I was so moved and grateful.

We started simultaneously preparing for both possibilities: mentally preparing for a hospital stay and C section (writing a birth plan, contacting a therapist who specializes in helping pregnant women with previous birth trauma or sexual abuse), and a VBAC at the birth center (attending childbirth classes). I have to say that I was sullen and glum during those first few classes, as everyone was excited and bubbly about their birth experiences and I could not go there. It seemed like a waste of time and I had so little of it! (The classes happen Thursday evenings, after a full day of grad school and 5 previous days of 10-12 hour days of work/school combo. I was freaking tired!)

We had our second ultrasound last week, and got a second picture of baby Rowan's junk, confirming the penis and testicles. We were surprised when the doctor came in (after the tech had spent at least 30 minutes scanning me herself) and told us that a vaginal ultrasound would not be necessary like last time (when they were confirming the previa). In fact, she told us that the placenta was not over the cervix at all anymore. I looked over at my partner and my doula (who had come in with me for support), shocked but hopeful.

I knew that we were not out of the water yet- that the placenta could have moved up and implanted into the scar tissue anyway. So I waited for a call from the midwife, anxiously. The three of us went out for Vietnamese food after the appointment and discussed what this could mean.

The day before my baby shower, we got the call from the birth center. No previa, and no evidence that the placenta was implanted in my scar tissue! I was free to pursue the birth that I wanted, at the birth center.

This journey has been much like all my others in F(a)eri(e). Full of obstacles and things to throw me off the trail. Indeed the trail following this river winds and switches back often- so it's hard to tell if you are progressing or regressing. But follow it I must, and I do. It has been an exercise in strength, patience and trust in the Gods that has kept me sane in the midst of all this chaos. Not that I have patiently waited for the Gods to show me that all will be OK or anything. Hell no. I am not a patient person by nature, nor am I "a sitter". I am "a doer". I need to be able to DO SOMETHING about my circumstance to feel better about it. And magic works, but not in a linear, straightforward cause-and-obvious-effect way. It takes a skilled witch to get the results she specifically wanted, and even then strange unintended things happen as a result. This is why I am grateful that my efforts were strengthened by the efforts of so many others. Thank you, priests of F(a)eri(e). Thank you, Gods. Thank you, placenta and Rowan for cooperating!